Lesson #23

There is NO bad change, only good!

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Ok, that may be a strange statement, but yet it is true. I was meditating on this topic not long after coming home from the hospital. I was looking at my life before my accident and then looking at what was before me. I quickly saw that things had drastically changed. Nothing was the same. And then I began to judge whether the change was good or bad. At first glance, you would automatically say, "well, this change is bad!" I did. Who wanted to be in a wheel chair and be told that you would never walk unassisted again. Who really wants to go to the bathroom in a portable potty? NOT ME!

So really, it was gloom and doom. Even though I knew I would not be in the wheel chair forever, I really did not like the change that had come to my life. So I began to pray and read the Bible. I remembered verses that state, "if God be before me who can be against me." And, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." And then I read verses that talk about God molding and making us into the likeness of his son. Then it dawned on me. You know, if God is really sovereign over all things, then nothing happens without his permission. Therefore, all change is good. I may not like the change. It may not feel good at the time it happens, but in the end, all changes are used by God to make me more like His son. Therefore, I must count it all joy.

"ALL THINGS work together for THE GOOD of them who love God and who are called according to his purposes."

So, change is good.

Using What I Have Learned

I have been sharing with you the things that God has been teaching me during this ordeal. There are 30 specific things on my list so far. I will share a couple of more in a few minutes.

Right now, I want to share with you how I am using what I have learned. I know I have said this many times in this blog, yet I have to say it again, one of the biggest lessons I learned was that you must stick closer than a brother to your dearest friends, especially when they need you the most. Robbie and I have some awesome friends who have a new baby girl with a severe heart defect. We knew about this heart condition months before she was born, but now she is here and the baby and our friends are pretty much living at the hospital. I know how important it is to have close friends and family surrounding you in your time of need, especially when you are in the hospital. I must tell you that I have "delighted" in visiting and doing all kinds of things for my friends. It brings me great joy to do anything that lightens their load! I love it! I hate that they must endure this, but I am SO BLESSED AND THANKFUL to be at their disposal!

God, I praise you for my accident and for all the great things you have taught me! I am blessed by your grace and love! I stand in awe of you!

10 months!!

Ten months have past since my accident and it is amazing how far I have come. I wish I could move faster, but, healing is progressing well. I am walking more each week and the pain is getting lesser and lesser. I am not having to take pain meds as much as before.

I am working losing weight to lessen the impact of arthritis. I am down 21 pounds as of today. Pray that I can lose much more than this!

I will have to go back to work soon. My disability insurance is aggressively working to stop my monthly payments. They are so eager to get you money for their policies, yet they are more than eager to stop paying benefits!

My next doc appt is in August. I believe at that time, my surgeon will release me from his care.

I continue to do PT each week. It has been the biggest help. I will have to get some shoe inserts soon for my right foot to correct my walk.

Thank you so much for your prayers. God is so good and He continues to heal me and answer my prayers of healing!

Lesson #22

As time marches away from my accident date, people have gone on with their lives and the calls, visits, emails and cards have slowly dwindle. Loneliness has come.

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This lesson goes hand-in-hand with the last one I just posted. It happens. People will swarm around you at the initial beginning of the crisis. Then as time moves out, the crowds get thinner and thinner. It will seem like no one really cares anymore and you begin to feel lonely. Again, you emotional roller coaster is taking you for another ride. You must keep your focus on Jesus Christ and on serving other people. The more you focus inward, the deeper that loneliness hole becomes. Get up! Find someone else who is worse off than you and go make their day brighter. In doing so, you will make yours much brighter.

There is also a reverse lesson here all of us. When people are in a long-term recovery from a crisis and you have chosen to walk with them, then you must walk with them the entire distance. It is not a 100-yard dash...but a long distance marathon. We must be wise in our commitments to others. I am not bashing the "first responders". Robbie and I would have never made it without them too! They too serve a great purpose. But for those in your inner circle, those covenant relationships, those you have chosen to walk with...they are they ones you must stay with until the end. I am much closer and more committed to my inner circle today than I ever was before my accident. I will go the distance with them no matter what!

I have 8 more lessons to post. So stay with me! LOL

Lesson #21

I was not expecting a roller coaster ride on The Emotions Express…you have to know it is coming, be prepared to deal with it and not allow faulty emotions to steer your course.

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I still battle this everyday...and we are 9 months out from my accident! Your emotions will always steer you in the wrong directions. They are faulty, depraved, just messed up! LOL Don't get me wrong...I love emotions, but to rely on them as a life guide is just foolish! You are up one minute and down the next. Each day brings a different emotional response. When diversity comes, be ready for the Emotions Express. It will hit you like a ton of bricks and you must be alert and cautious. You will quickly get sucked into feeling sorrow for yourself. Actually, you will be drawn inward instead of outward. Keeping the focus on yourself during these times is the WORST thing you could ever do. You will never get any further than you are right now if you always focus on YOU. So, when these emotions come, let them come...it is natural, but never let them be your guide to what is right!

9 month Anniversary

My 9 month anniversary is approaching fast. Just amazing that so much time has past. My accident seems like yesterday, and yet, it seems like forever ago!

The healing is SLOW! It seems to be moving at a snail's pace. I must admit there are times when I think there is no healing going on...that I am stuck where I currently am. Then God allows some progress that changes my mind. Each week, the pain is becoming less and less and I am able to walk more normally and for longer periods of time. The continued physical therapy is really making the difference! The more I work these feet the more normal that become. Praise God!

I am working on losing weight. My doctor told me that I MUST lose some significant weight to lessen the arthritis that will come. As of today, I am down 16 pounds with another 70 to go. I have to do this...it is a must if I am ever going to get back to normal.

Thank you so much for your continue prayers. I know you are out there praying and I am so thankful to you for that! God continues to work and it is amazing to watch!

Lesson #20

I am not afraid of where I am going, but afraid to stay!

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This phrase comes from a secular song, but it struck me as true when I heard it soon after my accident. I have no idea where the path that God as set before me will take me. I know there are going to be many more experiences with Him. All of them wonderful because "everything works together for the good of them who are called according to His purposes", but some not without tears and sorrow. I am not afraid of the path or of what's to come. I am afraid of staying where I am right now; not moving, not advancing, not experiencing God any further than I already have. I can't stay here. I have to keep moving. I can't dwell on the past, I have to keep marching forward.

Friends with Wisdom

I have a friend who has dealt with tragedy in his life. For a short time, he was unable to walk and pretty much had to re-learn to walk. Along my journey of crushed heels, he has been an encouragement. Even now, he sends emails that a choked full of wisdom. For this, I am very grateful.

I wanted to share some of his wisdom.

When you have the privilege of experiencing a mountain top experience with God, you quickly want and desire to hold on to the experience as long as you can. You want nothing more than to keep the closeness of God and all of your Godly friends. But then, life begins to shift back and before you know it, you become discouraged and lonely. It is then when you must get your focus off of yourself and keep it on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

It is not about whether people are praying or if they know that I am completely healed or not. It is NOT about ME! It is about using the experiences that God allows us to have for HIS glory and HIS honor. It is about impacting others and encouraging others by talking about how great our God is!

I continue to look forward to the things God has in store for me and my family. I very much look forward to any and all things that I can do to share my experiences with others so that God may be uplifted!

Lesson #18 &19

What you don't use, you lose!

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When you don't a muscle, it shrinks! My leg muscles are shrunk to half their normal size. And it took no time for it to happen. Wow! This has to be true in all other areas of life. To keep things razor sharp, they have to be used, trained and improved!

Do everything you can to remember!

History has a way of repeating itself. Look at the economy today. It resembles the Great Depression. How did we get here again? There are many theories and ideas. It is human nature to go from organized to complete disarray. One day we have it together and then we lose site of our ultimate goal and then we fall off the wagon. Mark my words, years from now, we will be in this same kind of economic problem again. It will happen!

The only way to learn from the storms of life is to do all you can to remember what happened and what you learned along the way. I have kept this journal to document all of my thoughts and feelings as life progresses out from Aug 9, 2008. The only way for me to look back and see what God has done is to keep track of it. So, if you don't want to repeat mistakes or if you want to grow in character, then you have to be able to remember things.....so when the storms hit, do all that you can to remember where you are, where you are going and where you have come. As I look back over this blog, I am reminded of all the great things I have conquered through the power of Jesus Christ!

A Lot To Catch Up On!

7 Month Anniversary

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I am completely amazed that today is my 7 month anniversary of my accident. In a very small way, it seems like yesterday, but for the most part, it seems like years ago. So much has happened over the past 7 months that much of it is a complete blur, yet the weekly physical therapy and the daily pain remind me of what my surgeon continues to tell me; recovery will be slow and painful! So daily, I am reminded of God's grace and the fact that I am still disabled and will be for many more months ahead.

My 6 month mark came and went without any notice. I am cool with that, but many times I wonder if people still pray for me. I am sure today will come and go just like the day did a month ago. I fully understand that it is human nature to move on. Time keeps marching, life continues on and the dust settles. Unfortunately, for many, needs are still great even if the dust has settled. I am reminded of this daily. If I only take one thing away from this experience (you can bet it will be more than 1 thing!), it is this...when I choose to walk with people through their storm, I will walk all the way, from start to finish. This is SO important....oh, SO important. Already, God has given Robbie and I opportunities to walk with our dearest of friends as they are in the middle of storms. To them, I pledge to be there from beginning to end. No matter what is cost me personally in time and money...I will be there when we walk out of the storm no matter the out-come!

Continue to pray for me. Healing is still in progress and I still have to devote a large portion of my day staying off my feet. In due time, God will heal me, completely, and this will not be the case. I love all of you and thank you in advance for your support and prayers!

Back To Work! STOP! Not So Fast There Cowboy!

Well, I thought I was ready to go back to work part time. I made the big announcement and reactivated some of my clients who were eagerly awaiting my return. I notified my disability insurance provided of this and they told me no more benefits! WAIT! HOLD ON! You mean it is all or nothing? Yep! You are either totally disabled or you are totally healed and back work! What a load of crap! They have been doing all they can to get me off disability and yet when I strive to slowly come off, they dump me. It is a crazy system. But I learned something and that is not to volunteer information. You can moral and honest and yet not give away your hand. I give to much away when it comes to information. Not again!

So, what am I doing? I am completely disabled, that is what I am doing. I had to get my surgeon to write a letter saying that he considers me completely disabled until he releases me. Not sure when that is going to be. But in the mean time, with a little bit of a fight, faith in God to fix this and a hope that knew He would, my benefits have been restored and I am focused on healing only. CRAZY!