Today's X-rays

Finally, I have a copy of my x-rays to show you. I had to scan them and the picture is not too good; but you can see all of the metal plates and screws that are in both heels. Pretty scary!!

xrays of heels

Lesson #4

Back On My Feet Countdown: 26 days

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Before I share lesson learned number 4, please allow me to tell you where I got the phrasing for this next lesson.

I was on the Internet reading an article about Tony Snow (previous White House Press Secretary for President Bush). In this interview, he spoke of his terminal cancer and how he was dealing with it. Of course, he spoke of God and how He was ultimately in control of his life and the direction it would go. The interviewer asked if he ever asked "why". And here is a direct quote of what he (Tony) said and my Lesson #4;

"Asking 'Why?' is designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer!"

Wow, what a powerful statement! And it speaks the truth, does it not? I set out day 1 not to ask God WHY! And I am here to tell you that I have not asked. What real difference does it make if I ask? The ultimate answer is already given in the Bible. God is constantly working to make us more like His son Jesus. We already know that this perfecting comes with great difficulty. Troubles and trials are constantly at our doorsteps. They are a part of life! Why? When we are weak, He is strong. When we struggle, our character is improved and we are able to handle more of what God has in store for us! Perseverance produces character and character produces hope and this hope is one that will not disappoint us. So what is the big deal...what does hope give me? Well, let me tell you what hopes gives me....it is a longing in my heart of things that I KNOW WILL come! I am not speaking of wishing...wishing is longing for something that may or may not come to fruition. Yet, when I persevere through trials, my character is improved or built upon. Then my improved character gives me a hope in God that only He can give. And this hope NEVER disappoints me. Why? Because a hope in God ALWAYS delivers results that are truly amazing and beyond belief! Everytime I visit my doctor, I leave with more than I came in expecting!

I know what I have said is completely true, because my friends, I am living it right now and I mean RIGHT NOW and for the last 80 days!

I love you God.

Again, God Delivers More Than I Expected!

Day 80

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Believe it or not, but 6 weeks has past since my last doc appointment and today I made my way back to his office once more to get the latest news; and what AWESOME NEWS it was!!! I went with some expectations and left completely amazed at how much more I got! Here are the specifics:

• I can begin to walk on my left leg.
• I can get rid of the boot that was on my right leg. No more boots!!!
• I can begin to put pressure on my right leg.
• I can begin physical therapy to help me walk again.
• Over the next few weeks, I can use a walker and or crutches to walk on both feet.
• I can drive again (with the help of others until I can walk on my own).
• I can wear shoes on both feet again.
• My next doc appt is in 6 weeks and my doc wants me to come on my own and walk into his office. How cool is this?

Please join with me and give all praise, honor and glory to the living God, who is the ultimate doctor!!!

Lesson #3

Day 78

Back On My Feet Countdown: 28 days

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There is a verse in the Bible that I have quoted in this blog many times, yet I have learned that it is completely true! James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

It is completely amazing! 78 days out from my accident and I still have this pure joy! I know that I would have never pulled out of this without this pure joy. And where did it come from? Did the pain pills bring it? Was is all the nice health care workers at the hospital? Could it be my dearest friends and family? Hey, I will be the first to tell you that pain pills are AWESOME! And I did have the royal treatment at the hospital. And, I could not do this without my truly Godly friends and family. BUT....none of this could deliver the joy that races through my heart and mind!

I am so thankful that God chose to give me this joy. This joy has carried me through many bouts of sadness, pain, and loneliness. When these negative emotions come, joy comes to my rescue!

I believe in my heart that my healing comes from God and His joy that is deep within me is an agent of healing!

Next Doc Appt This Week!!

This Thursday, I will visit my surgeon again. It has been 6 weeks since my last visit. I am full of hope and excitement in anticipation of the news I will get at this visit. Will I get to walk on my left leg? Will I get to lose the boot on my right foot? Who knows! But I know that whatever the news, it will be bigger and better than I ever expected!

Lesson #2

Day 72

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Since my accident, many versuses have become more real to me. One of the first ones is 2 Corinthians 12:9; "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Let me tell you this....it's true! Not that I have ever doubted the Bible to be untrue, but when you live it, experience it (not just read it), you find it to be real, very real!

When you have nothing left, nothing that you can hold on to, then all you have is God's grace. That's it! Nothing more. Nada, nill, absolute zero...when everything you found safety and comfort in is taken away, then all that is left is grace. You learn that is all you need. His power is made perfect in weakness. And in the end, all you can do is boast about what God has done because in the end, there is nothing I have or can do to boast about...because all that is left is God's grace! Wow!

Lessons Learned

Now that we are 67 days out from my accident, I wish to share with you the lessons I have learned from this trial.


Lesson #1

God's blessings come in unexpected packages. I have met people in my life that have walked through some crazy difficult situations (trials) and have come out on the other side claiming to be blessed. When I hear them say this, I just shake my head and say under my breath, "Are you crazy!?!"

Yet, I can tell you that this is something I have found to be very true. My crushed heels are a blessing. My fall was a blessing. All of my pain, and boy was there some crazy pain, was a blessing. Being in the hospital was a blessing. Being in a wheel chair is a blessing. All of this has been blessing after blessing. AND YES, these blessings came in a very unexpected package!

Another Milestone!!

Oct 17, 2008
Day 67

Back on my Feet Countdown: 40 days

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Our Sis-In-Law has been caring for Collier, here at our home, on Mondays and Fridays. Mondays and Fridays are normally my off days and I typically keep Collier. But, with crushed heels, it is impossible for me to keep him safely; that is, until NOW!

Our Sis-In-Law was blessed with a job that she started this week. That left us without someone to care for Collier. So we began to pray along with our family and friends, asking God to send us someone to fill the need. We wanted someone that could come to our house so that I could spend time with Collier on these days. Yet, as the week wore on, no specific person was coming to our minds and no one was knocking on our door. So by mid week, I began to think and pray more...and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I could be that person. So I approached Robbie, asking her to be bluntly honest about my idea. I wanted to be with my son, but I also wanted protection for my feet and Collier. We were both nervous about the idea, yet we could not find a concrete reason to kill it. So we changed our prayer; asking God to kill our idea if it were not His will.

So, today, here I sit, reminiscing of the day I have spent with Collier; just the 2 of us. It has been a fun-filled day, playing, crawling around on the floor, wrestling, reading and watching a video. I have missed this greatly and I am so thankful it is back. Collier is so patient with my wheel chair. He allows me to get in it each time we need to go to another room for something. He adapts so well.

Maybe after my next doc appt on Oct 30, I will be able to do much more with less time in the chair!!!

We Can't; But God Can!

Oct 12, 20008
Day 62

Back on my Feet Countdown: 45 days

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Despite the immense blessings God has given us during this time of difficulty, needs still exists; needs that are beyond our ability to fill. They are a constant reminder that we continue to need and completely rely on God for all of our needs.

First, God has blessed our sis-in-law with a job. She has been keeping our son on Mondays and Fridays here at our house. She has been a huge blessing and we are so thankful for her help. BUT, we are more thankful that she was given this job! So now, we are left to see how God will take care of this need. I am still unable to do all that is necessary to keep Collier, therefore, we need help. Yet, I pray that we can find someone that can come to our home to keep him so that I can see him. Otherwise, I will get very little time with him as he is kept by Robbie's Mom Tuesday through Thursdays away from our home. Sure, I will have the evening hours, but I work very hard to make that time special for Robbie since she works every day. We are excited to see how God will answer this request!

Second, since we spend a great amount of time dealing with the difficulties that have come since my accident, we don't get to spend a lot of time with our friends and family. This leads to loneliness and isolation. We don't desire to be lonely or isolated, yet that is what has happened since my leaving the hospital. Please pray that God will allow us the privilege to see our family and friends often and that we will not allow these feelings to take away our joy!

Thank you so much for your prayers, calls, emails, visits and gifts of food. We are so thankful and are blessed by your contact with us!

I Knew This Day Would Come!

Oct 7, 2008
Day 59

Back on Feet Countdown: 49 days

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Ok, Russ, what are you talking about? The title of this post in your blog says you knew this day would come...so, what day are you speaking of?

Well, let me begin with an illustration. Have you ever had a leaky faucet or a toilet that constantly leak causing water to constantly run to keep the tank full? The dripping water from the leaky faucet is not so bad to listen to in the beginning, but over time, you want to SCREAM! Or, have you ever ridden a roller coaster 10 or more times in a row and by the end, you were sick of riding and just wanted to puke? Well, hopefully, you have a picture of what I am about to tell you.

My wheel chair is annoying the fire out of me! I know! I know! Where is the thankfulness? Where is the joy? Where is the happy face that God has given me over these past 59 days? Trust me, it's all still here. There is nothing that could take these things away from me. Oh, the devil will try (as he is doing right now), but he will not succeed! So, back to the chair....

I am weary of scratching walls. I am weary of dropping things because I need my hands to maneuver the chair. I am weary of not being able to reach things. But most of all, my bottom is numb from all of this sitting! I guess you get the picture....I get weary with the limitations!!!

BUT...oh yes, there is a BUT to this story! Today, I stood up 3/4 of the way on my left foot while still holding on to the locked wheels of my chair. IT WAS AWESOME!!! Isn't God so cool...just when you get weary, he gives you a glimpse of a bright future and it immediately drives away the weariness!!! I did it with no pain. Soon and very soon (23 days to be exact), I will be walking on my left foot. WOW!! HURRAY! AWESOME!! JUST FANTABULOUS!!

Thanks again to all of my friends and family for all that you do for us!

Ok, Something Funny!

Recently, I went to Chili's for dinner with my friends. The lady that greeted us, looked at me and asked if I wanted a table or booth. I give her a strange look and then looked down at my wheelchair expecting her to realize that a booth was a little out of the question. Yet, she gave me a blank stare. I was laughing inside. I said, "A table please!" We were then ushered off to a table.

Robbie did not find this as funny as I did...but it reminded me of all the dumb things I have said to people...things that should have be very obvious, yet escaped me at that very moment.

My favorite so far is the question people ask me when they see my feet: "Oh! Did that hurt?"

LOL....no, it didn't hurt at all! LOL ;)

I Did Not Expect A Roller coaster!

Oct 1, 2008
Day 53

Back On My Feet Countdown: 55 days

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I can't believe that October is already here! Time marches on despite what is going on in our lives. It is crazy! We are having some of the best fall weather here in Arkansas...love it!!

Today is day 53 since my accident and I have to tell you, not having been through something like this before, I sure didn't expect to be riding "The Emotion Express" roller coaster! It is crazy...one minute I am laughing my head off and the next moment the tears are flowing like Niagara Falls. There are days that are up and great and then there are down days that don't feel so great, yet I am called to believe that "all things work for the good of them who love God, who are called according to His purposes", therefore, I must count them as GREAT days too, right?

So, as I sit here in this chair, looking at these 4 walls here in my living room, 53 days out from my accident, I never dreamed that I would still be dealing with negative emotions. It is just further proof that the "devil is constantly seeking whom he can devour!" We have to constantly be on guard for his crazy lies and his sneaky ways in which he tries to creep into our lives to destroy our joy, the pure joy that only God can deliver.

This past Sunday, in our Bible study time at church, we were talking about change. Our discussion leader wanted us to give him situations where change is good and where change is bad. I was struck by this question, in a way that I began thinking about how God works....if He truly is working ALL things for our GOOD, then how can ANY change be BAD? Think about it for just a moment...sure, there are times in our lives when things go in a direction that we wish it would not. Take me for instance; I never wished for my accident to happen. I did not want to be in a wheelchair for 4 months. I didn't want to crush my heels. I didn't ask God to bring this suffering into my life, yet here it is. It is here!!!! So, do I count this moment as a moment of BAD CHANGE? Remember what James chapter 1 says, "count it pure joy" when bad change comes your way (a Russ paraphrase here)! I left the study believing that all change is good no matter how I perceive it at that moment!

The next time change comes into your life (this is a daily event), I challenge you to focus on how God views this change and not how you view it. It will change your entire perspective of the situation. And not only that, it will allow you to move through the change more smoothly and you will learn so much more!

So, life is really a roller coaster ride...at times an emotional one at that...so we can choose how to respond to it!