I Knew This Day Would Come!

Oct 7, 2008
Day 59

Back on Feet Countdown: 49 days

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Ok, Russ, what are you talking about? The title of this post in your blog says you knew this day would come...so, what day are you speaking of?

Well, let me begin with an illustration. Have you ever had a leaky faucet or a toilet that constantly leak causing water to constantly run to keep the tank full? The dripping water from the leaky faucet is not so bad to listen to in the beginning, but over time, you want to SCREAM! Or, have you ever ridden a roller coaster 10 or more times in a row and by the end, you were sick of riding and just wanted to puke? Well, hopefully, you have a picture of what I am about to tell you.

My wheel chair is annoying the fire out of me! I know! I know! Where is the thankfulness? Where is the joy? Where is the happy face that God has given me over these past 59 days? Trust me, it's all still here. There is nothing that could take these things away from me. Oh, the devil will try (as he is doing right now), but he will not succeed! So, back to the chair....

I am weary of scratching walls. I am weary of dropping things because I need my hands to maneuver the chair. I am weary of not being able to reach things. But most of all, my bottom is numb from all of this sitting! I guess you get the picture....I get weary with the limitations!!!

BUT...oh yes, there is a BUT to this story! Today, I stood up 3/4 of the way on my left foot while still holding on to the locked wheels of my chair. IT WAS AWESOME!!! Isn't God so cool...just when you get weary, he gives you a glimpse of a bright future and it immediately drives away the weariness!!! I did it with no pain. Soon and very soon (23 days to be exact), I will be walking on my left foot. WOW!! HURRAY! AWESOME!! JUST FANTABULOUS!!

Thanks again to all of my friends and family for all that you do for us!

Ok, Something Funny!

Recently, I went to Chili's for dinner with my friends. The lady that greeted us, looked at me and asked if I wanted a table or booth. I give her a strange look and then looked down at my wheelchair expecting her to realize that a booth was a little out of the question. Yet, she gave me a blank stare. I was laughing inside. I said, "A table please!" We were then ushered off to a table.

Robbie did not find this as funny as I did...but it reminded me of all the dumb things I have said to people...things that should have be very obvious, yet escaped me at that very moment.

My favorite so far is the question people ask me when they see my feet: "Oh! Did that hurt?"

LOL....no, it didn't hurt at all! LOL ;)

I Did Not Expect A Roller coaster!

Oct 1, 2008
Day 53

Back On My Feet Countdown: 55 days

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I can't believe that October is already here! Time marches on despite what is going on in our lives. It is crazy! We are having some of the best fall weather here in Arkansas...love it!!

Today is day 53 since my accident and I have to tell you, not having been through something like this before, I sure didn't expect to be riding "The Emotion Express" roller coaster! It is crazy...one minute I am laughing my head off and the next moment the tears are flowing like Niagara Falls. There are days that are up and great and then there are down days that don't feel so great, yet I am called to believe that "all things work for the good of them who love God, who are called according to His purposes", therefore, I must count them as GREAT days too, right?

So, as I sit here in this chair, looking at these 4 walls here in my living room, 53 days out from my accident, I never dreamed that I would still be dealing with negative emotions. It is just further proof that the "devil is constantly seeking whom he can devour!" We have to constantly be on guard for his crazy lies and his sneaky ways in which he tries to creep into our lives to destroy our joy, the pure joy that only God can deliver.

This past Sunday, in our Bible study time at church, we were talking about change. Our discussion leader wanted us to give him situations where change is good and where change is bad. I was struck by this question, in a way that I began thinking about how God works....if He truly is working ALL things for our GOOD, then how can ANY change be BAD? Think about it for just a moment...sure, there are times in our lives when things go in a direction that we wish it would not. Take me for instance; I never wished for my accident to happen. I did not want to be in a wheelchair for 4 months. I didn't want to crush my heels. I didn't ask God to bring this suffering into my life, yet here it is. It is here!!!! So, do I count this moment as a moment of BAD CHANGE? Remember what James chapter 1 says, "count it pure joy" when bad change comes your way (a Russ paraphrase here)! I left the study believing that all change is good no matter how I perceive it at that moment!

The next time change comes into your life (this is a daily event), I challenge you to focus on how God views this change and not how you view it. It will change your entire perspective of the situation. And not only that, it will allow you to move through the change more smoothly and you will learn so much more!

So, life is really a roller coaster ride...at times an emotional one at that...so we can choose how to respond to it!

This Trial is Hard!

Sept 28, 2008
Day 50

Back on my Feet Countdown: 58 days

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I may or may not have said this already in this blog...but it bears repeating; this is the hardest thing we have ever had to tackle! Don't get me wrong, God is so good! We are experiencing pure joy as we walk through this fire, but that does not mean we are not struggling. We struggle every day. And honestly, I believe it is Robbie that has the most difficult tasks of all. She literally works 24/7 to keep our house running and taking care of Collier and me. I am in constant prayer for her! She is constantly on her feet, working hard to keep our heads above water. The simple tasks of cooking dinner, making the bed, picking up the toys are difficult. For me, some of the most difficult times are at the end of week, when I have been looking at the same 4 walls for many days and all I can think about is getting in my car and going anywhere just to change the scenery. I know Robbie would probably just like to have a normal day; one where she can talk with her friends or just sit and not have to think anything; just veg.

Probably one of the most difficult things we are dealing with is loneliness. I know, sounds crazy doesn't it! In normal circumstances, this would not be the case. But when you are in the middle of a life trial, your need for your family and friends is greatly increased! We are very thankful that we have many wonderful friends and family.

Please continue to pray for us. Call us. Come by and visit us. Email us. We would love to hear from you or see you!

Please pray for us:

• To keep a positive spirit
• Our finances
• Complete healing
• Strength for daily life
• Keep our focus on God

Thank you to all of your for your love and prayers!

Russ-Robbie-Collier

2 months--60 days!!

Sept 26, 2008
Day 48

Reflection on the Past--Hope in the Future!

Today marks 48 days since my accident on Aug 9th. In less than 2 weeks, 2 months will have passed since that day. This is just crazy! Two months? On my ride home from the hospital, that glorious day when I was discharged, I just knew time would go by so slow...I mean what was I going to do each day to pass the time, to make it go by faster so that I could walk sooner? Yet, here we are, 48 days out and I am not sure where the days went. I am so glad that I am able to do all kinds of things at home to help Robbie and to pass time.

And now, as of yesterday, I am 60 days out from walking on both feet! Just amazing! How cool is that! It is going to be an awesome day when I walk on 2 feet to my Thanksgiving Dinner Table....how appropriate...Thanksgiving Day! I can't wait to see what God is going to do!!!!

My Latest Doc Appt

Sept 25, 2008
Day 47

Back on my Feet Countdown: 61 days

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More Awesome News!!

I had another doctor's appointment this past Tuesday. Robbie and I believed in our hearts that we were going to get more great news. It is what we have prayed for and it is what we believed would happen. But in God-fashion, the news was more than just great...it was bigger and better than even we were expecting. And let me tell you, my expectations were very high!

We were called back to a room. First off, I was wheeled back for new x-rays. Once that was done, I was taken back to my room. After waiting a while, the doctor came in with the new x-rays. He threw them up on the lighted board and said, "Amazing!' "Everything looks better than I was ever expecting!" "Remarkable!" I was expecting these remarks. My doc then asked me how my feet were feeling. I told him all is great...there was some pain at night, but that was mostly attributed to swelling and the swelling was attributed to me no keeping them elevated enough. Meaning, there are some days where I am doing too much!

Here is where it gets much sweeter. My doc then said, "you can lose the left boot...I want to reward you for all of the great things that are happening here." I said, "WHAT?!" I never even considered that I would come out of this visit with one less device strapped to my legs! My left leg and foot are FREE! And then it got even better....by my next appointment (6 weeks), I should be able to stand and walk on my left foot using a walker! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

Here are more details:

• I can start moving my left foot side to side.
• I can start bathing my right leg and foot.
• I can start moving my right foot up and down.
• I can start putting weight and pressure on my left foot.

We are thrilled! We are tickled! We are thankful!

What Does the Walking Countdown Mean?

Many have asked me what kind of walking will I be doing at Thanksgiving. I have asked God to allow me to walk by Nov 25th. My expectation is both feet on the ground, taking a few steps with a walker. BUT, knowing God the way I do, I am sure it will be bigger and better than what I have in mind. So, I want to walk to my Thanksgiving Table so that I can give all the honor and glory and thanks to God Almighty!!

Life is Good!

Sept 17, 2008
Day 39

Back On My Feet Countdown: 69 days

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Time is Moving Fast

It is amazing to watch the time go by even when you are down and your mobility is limited. I started my "Back On My Feet Countdown" at 90 days and here it is 69 days. Not only that, today is day 39; 39 days since my accident. I am so thankful that I have plenty to do. Not only that, my son is here on Mondays and Fridays with my sis-in-law. I have the privilege of playing with him on those days and on the days that Robbie is off during the week; like today for instance. I am able to get in the floor with him. I can roll and crawl on my hands and knees. Funny; here I am 41 and I am having to start over just like a baby...rolling, crawling and eventually walking. Life can change so quickly. It is that statement that has reminded me that you can't take the little things for granted. I never really thought about walking and how important it is. Yet, here I am, wishing to walk. I even dream about it often. Many nights, I wake up to tell Robbie about my walking dreams. It is so funny!

So How Am I Really Doing?

Many people ask me if I am really doing as well as I let on. The answer to that question is a BIG YES! Sure, there is so many things I could be sad about....I could sit in this recliner every day and just get all engrossed in the negative aspects of my accident and it's outcome. But I am reminded of a wonderful verse in the Bible that has been a beacon to me, James 1:2-4: "Consider it PURE JOY, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I can testify that God does indeed bring you PURE JOY during the dark times in your life. I am proof of that. I am truly full of PURE JOY! I am SO thankful for my accident. I am SO thankful for the pain it caused. I am SO thankful for the things I have learned and will continue to learn from this trial. I am SO thankful for the ways God has blessed me during this trial. I am SO thankful for the difficulties, frustrations and limitations that have come from my accident.

I know this sounds crazy, but I wouldn't be SO thankful if it were not for God and His work in my life. Only He could take something so bad and make it so good! "All things work for the good of them who love God and who are called according to His purposes!" So the Bible tells me that ALL THINGS work for my good. So, here I am in this wheelchair with 2 bum feet and I have learned and fully believe that this is for my good! LOVE IT!

People Say The Craziest Things

I fully understand that people try to find some way to connect to you and your situation. I am sure on many occasions, I too have said some crazy things to people who are suffering or in crazy situations. Just listen to some of these:

• Wow, I bet that hurt? No, not at all!
• You sure are in a bad predicament! Actually, no, all is good!
• I bet you won't go in the attic again! Well, duh!
• My friend's, brother's, sister's, aunt's, dog fell off a ladder and broke his ankle..... I have heard every story of any person that has hurt their legs in some way.
• Did you get hurt? I guess the wheelchair and moon boots aren't visually enough to prove that I did indeed get hurt!
• Why would you do that? Not sure now!
• Don't you know you should not be in the attic? Yes, I know now!
• Why didn't you floor your attic? I guess I am just lazy! LOL
• So, you can't walk? Hmmmmm? NO!
• What a heel you are! The heel jokes are my favs.
• You sure are lucky? LOL....one side of me says, "Are you kidding?" but then the Godly side of me says, "No, not lucky, blessed!"
• What were you thinking? I was thinking about the cables I was trying to run!

Please don't take me wrong here. I am very thankful that people are trying to connect with my injuries. Many people don't know what to say other than the first thing that comes into their minds. I am thankful that people wish to chat with me and give me their best wishes. But some of the things they say is just hilarious or completely obvious; as if I had not considered the thought at all.

Try This At Home

Ok, here is a way you can connect with my difficulties and get a good laugh at the same time. Now let me set the stage for you:

When I need to use the restroom, I must transfer from the recliner to my wheelchair. Then, I wheel into my bedroom to the entrance of my bathroom. My chair will not go through the door opening, therefore, I must transfer from my wheelchair to a cheap Wal-Mart rolling chair with no back on it. I then push my self into my bathroom and then over to the toilet room. I then transfer (with pants/shorts still on) from the rolling chair to the toilet seat.

Now here is where you come in. Go to your toilet seat, sit down and now without using your feet, unbutton your pants/shorts and pull them down to potty. Now, pull your underwear up. Now laugh! It is just hilarious!

More background info: For me, I can't completely pull my pants/shorts back up. So, I have to transfer back to the rolling chair with pants/shorts hanging; roll over to the sink to wash my hands and then push myself back to my wheelchair. Once I am back in the wheelchair, I pivot my bottom back and forth while pulling up on my pants/shorts. So many times, I have to stop and laugh.

So, you try it and then just laugh. When you live in a wheelchair, you must find crazy ways to complete tasks. You should see me make the bed in the morning! LOL!

Take care and thanks for reading my blog. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers!

Another Awesome Doctor's Report

Sept 9, 2008
Days 28-31

Back On My Feet Countdown: 77 days

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Checkup Time!

I had my 2nd follow-up doctor's appointment this morning. He looked at my left foot and said all is good. They removed the steri tape strips they had placed on the incision. They cleaned the area well and told me that I could now shower with my leg uncovered. This was awesome news!

He then turned to my right foot. He looked at the incision area and was very pleased. His nurse removed the cast and then removed the steri strips and cleaned the area well. There was a small area where the wound was still wet, meaning it needed another 2 weeks to heal. So they applied some betadine wrapped the wound and placed my right foot into a boot. I am not able to put my right foot in the shower as yet, but it is out of the cast!!!!!

I am scheduled to go back in 2 weeks. At that time, if the incision area on my right foot is completely healed, then we can proceed with putting weight on my left foot and start moving my right foot back and forth along my ankle.

Join me in giving thanks to God! He is the Great Physician and He is healing me.

The best phrase from my doctor during this visit was, "Remarkable!" This was his remark to my healing process. God is SO good!

Looking Back & Lessons Learned

Sept 5, 2008
Days 24-27

Back On My Feet Countdown: 80 days

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Four Week Anniversary

Today marks 4 weeks since my accident. Today, I was in our Dinning Room looking up at the ceiling remembering the day, August 9th; praising God that I am still here and the whole in my ceiling has been patched and fixed. It is pretty amazing everything that has transpired over these past 4 weeks. 17 days in the hospital. Major surgery on both heels. Eating some spectacular food in the hospital (yuck, and a BIG NOT)! I am still amazed at God's grace and how He continues to sustain me! I praise God for this accident. I praise God for the difficulties that have come from it. I praise God for the pain I endured. I praise God for the character He is perfecting. I just love Him more and more each day!

I am able to do more and more with my feet and legs everyday. Yesterday, my sis-in-law came to stay with Collier and I. I had the privilege of playing in the floor with my son. I am able to crawl, scoot and roll. I feel like a Collier; a toddler! Collier kept coming up to me, crawling all over me. Even when I had to get back in my recliner to elevate my feet, he would come running; wanting in my lap. You might think, "Well, yes, you are his daddy and of course he would be crawling on you and wanting in your lap!" As a matter of fact, this really has not been the case until today. I had been gone 17 days and he had been going back and forth between many different family and friends....and in the midst of all the confusion, we lost some of the closeness we once shared. He really would not have much to do with me when I got back home. I have been pretty sad over this and have been praying that God would restore our relationship. I can confidently say that as of yesterday, things are much better! God again answered my prayer! Thank you!

People Say Crazy Things

Robbie was off today, so we went to Little Rock to run some errands. It was a great day to do it...sunshine without a cloud in the sky and temps in the lower 80s. Just a beautiful day! Our first stop was Hobby Lobby. This store is like Wal-Mart on a Saturday; wall to wall people. And of course, they have on 2 handicap parking spots and yes, they were full. So, Robbie had to drop me off at the front door and then find a parking spot 10 miles away! I went in to the store and waited for Robbie. It is strange to sit in a wheelchair and wait. People are trying not to stare, but they can't help themselves. It is funny to watch. As we left the store, I went outside and parked my chair on the narrow sidewalk, next to the entrance while Robbie and Collier walked to parking lot Egypt to get the car. I felt like a beggar looking for food and/or money. I bet if I were to have held my hand out, I would have gotten some donations! LOL So, as I sat there, people were having to walk around me as they came and went from the store. One lady said, "Boy, you are in a bad predicament!" Well, dah! On man said, "Wow, that had to hurt!" Well of course it did! There was one person who asked if I needed any help. I told him I was waiting for my wife to bring the car around. His question was legit! :) I will watch what I say to people or just keep my mouth shut! I never want to be a person who says something stupid to someone who apparently is dealing with some kind of difficulty! :)

From Hobby Lobby, we went to Wal-Mart. Again, Wal-Mart on a Saturday....we must like pain! LOL Another thing I have learned about Wal-Mart; lots of disabled people shop there. There is never handicap parking available...and they have lots of slots to choose from! My personal favorite are the people (like me) who have the temporary disability tag you hang from your rear-view mirror; they bail out of their car and NO ONE HAS ANY APPEARANCE OF BEING DISABLED! Where is the limp? Where is the wheelchair? Where are the crutches? Where are the missing limbs? Where is the oxygen tank? Are you kidding me? Here I and anyone else who is truly disabled is in need of a parking place and there they are....got the tag but not one person with a disability! So, we park in the back 40 and wheel ourselves to the front door! You learn many things when you are in the chair....things you never knew or you took for granted.

We are going to Church tomorrow for the first time in 4 weeks. I will let you know how glorious it is!

Time Off With Family Continues--Here Comes Gustav

Sept 1, 2008
Days 22-23

Back On My Feet Countdown: 85 days

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It has been a blast being home with my family these past few days. What great timing for Robbie to be off for 5 days straight. We are learning how to live in a wheelchair. I have been working hard to find ways to help around the house; in an attempt to help Robbie with all of the added duties she picked up when I came home. I have been folding clothes, cooking lunch and dinner (with a little assistance), feeding Collier and I can clean up the kitchen. I am so thankful I can help.

Robbie is a trooper! She does it all with a smile on her face and I am SO thankful for her love, support and all that she does to take care of our family!

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During my rehab and recovery, I have become reacquainted with a song that has now become my song during this trial. The song is, In Christ Alone, by Michael English. I have adopted this song because the lyrics perfectly describe me and my situation. The lyrics point my heart to Christ and they comfort me; they allow me to give praise to God! Here see for yourself--:

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself
In battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone, I overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But these trophies could not equal
To the grace, by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory In the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace
I am redeemed
And only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness
To my need
Now I seek no greater honor
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses
And to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory In the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

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Gustav has made its last stand here in Arkansas. The rain began last night and will continue for the next 3 to 4 days. We are expecting as much as 15" of rain in some parts of central Arkansas. Looks like our fall foliage will be spectacular this year. The more rain we get in August, the brighter the colors will be in the Fall. If you have never been to Arkansas in the Fall, you are missing some beautiful colors. I am looking forward to a wonderful Autumn!!