This Trial is Hard!

Sept 28, 2008
Day 50

Back on my Feet Countdown: 58 days

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I may or may not have said this already in this blog...but it bears repeating; this is the hardest thing we have ever had to tackle! Don't get me wrong, God is so good! We are experiencing pure joy as we walk through this fire, but that does not mean we are not struggling. We struggle every day. And honestly, I believe it is Robbie that has the most difficult tasks of all. She literally works 24/7 to keep our house running and taking care of Collier and me. I am in constant prayer for her! She is constantly on her feet, working hard to keep our heads above water. The simple tasks of cooking dinner, making the bed, picking up the toys are difficult. For me, some of the most difficult times are at the end of week, when I have been looking at the same 4 walls for many days and all I can think about is getting in my car and going anywhere just to change the scenery. I know Robbie would probably just like to have a normal day; one where she can talk with her friends or just sit and not have to think anything; just veg.

Probably one of the most difficult things we are dealing with is loneliness. I know, sounds crazy doesn't it! In normal circumstances, this would not be the case. But when you are in the middle of a life trial, your need for your family and friends is greatly increased! We are very thankful that we have many wonderful friends and family.

Please continue to pray for us. Call us. Come by and visit us. Email us. We would love to hear from you or see you!

Please pray for us:

• To keep a positive spirit
• Our finances
• Complete healing
• Strength for daily life
• Keep our focus on God

Thank you to all of your for your love and prayers!

Russ-Robbie-Collier

2 months--60 days!!

Sept 26, 2008
Day 48

Reflection on the Past--Hope in the Future!

Today marks 48 days since my accident on Aug 9th. In less than 2 weeks, 2 months will have passed since that day. This is just crazy! Two months? On my ride home from the hospital, that glorious day when I was discharged, I just knew time would go by so slow...I mean what was I going to do each day to pass the time, to make it go by faster so that I could walk sooner? Yet, here we are, 48 days out and I am not sure where the days went. I am so glad that I am able to do all kinds of things at home to help Robbie and to pass time.

And now, as of yesterday, I am 60 days out from walking on both feet! Just amazing! How cool is that! It is going to be an awesome day when I walk on 2 feet to my Thanksgiving Dinner Table....how appropriate...Thanksgiving Day! I can't wait to see what God is going to do!!!!

My Latest Doc Appt

Sept 25, 2008
Day 47

Back on my Feet Countdown: 61 days

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More Awesome News!!

I had another doctor's appointment this past Tuesday. Robbie and I believed in our hearts that we were going to get more great news. It is what we have prayed for and it is what we believed would happen. But in God-fashion, the news was more than just great...it was bigger and better than even we were expecting. And let me tell you, my expectations were very high!

We were called back to a room. First off, I was wheeled back for new x-rays. Once that was done, I was taken back to my room. After waiting a while, the doctor came in with the new x-rays. He threw them up on the lighted board and said, "Amazing!' "Everything looks better than I was ever expecting!" "Remarkable!" I was expecting these remarks. My doc then asked me how my feet were feeling. I told him all is great...there was some pain at night, but that was mostly attributed to swelling and the swelling was attributed to me no keeping them elevated enough. Meaning, there are some days where I am doing too much!

Here is where it gets much sweeter. My doc then said, "you can lose the left boot...I want to reward you for all of the great things that are happening here." I said, "WHAT?!" I never even considered that I would come out of this visit with one less device strapped to my legs! My left leg and foot are FREE! And then it got even better....by my next appointment (6 weeks), I should be able to stand and walk on my left foot using a walker! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

Here are more details:

• I can start moving my left foot side to side.
• I can start bathing my right leg and foot.
• I can start moving my right foot up and down.
• I can start putting weight and pressure on my left foot.

We are thrilled! We are tickled! We are thankful!

What Does the Walking Countdown Mean?

Many have asked me what kind of walking will I be doing at Thanksgiving. I have asked God to allow me to walk by Nov 25th. My expectation is both feet on the ground, taking a few steps with a walker. BUT, knowing God the way I do, I am sure it will be bigger and better than what I have in mind. So, I want to walk to my Thanksgiving Table so that I can give all the honor and glory and thanks to God Almighty!!

Life is Good!

Sept 17, 2008
Day 39

Back On My Feet Countdown: 69 days

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Time is Moving Fast

It is amazing to watch the time go by even when you are down and your mobility is limited. I started my "Back On My Feet Countdown" at 90 days and here it is 69 days. Not only that, today is day 39; 39 days since my accident. I am so thankful that I have plenty to do. Not only that, my son is here on Mondays and Fridays with my sis-in-law. I have the privilege of playing with him on those days and on the days that Robbie is off during the week; like today for instance. I am able to get in the floor with him. I can roll and crawl on my hands and knees. Funny; here I am 41 and I am having to start over just like a baby...rolling, crawling and eventually walking. Life can change so quickly. It is that statement that has reminded me that you can't take the little things for granted. I never really thought about walking and how important it is. Yet, here I am, wishing to walk. I even dream about it often. Many nights, I wake up to tell Robbie about my walking dreams. It is so funny!

So How Am I Really Doing?

Many people ask me if I am really doing as well as I let on. The answer to that question is a BIG YES! Sure, there is so many things I could be sad about....I could sit in this recliner every day and just get all engrossed in the negative aspects of my accident and it's outcome. But I am reminded of a wonderful verse in the Bible that has been a beacon to me, James 1:2-4: "Consider it PURE JOY, my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." I can testify that God does indeed bring you PURE JOY during the dark times in your life. I am proof of that. I am truly full of PURE JOY! I am SO thankful for my accident. I am SO thankful for the pain it caused. I am SO thankful for the things I have learned and will continue to learn from this trial. I am SO thankful for the ways God has blessed me during this trial. I am SO thankful for the difficulties, frustrations and limitations that have come from my accident.

I know this sounds crazy, but I wouldn't be SO thankful if it were not for God and His work in my life. Only He could take something so bad and make it so good! "All things work for the good of them who love God and who are called according to His purposes!" So the Bible tells me that ALL THINGS work for my good. So, here I am in this wheelchair with 2 bum feet and I have learned and fully believe that this is for my good! LOVE IT!

People Say The Craziest Things

I fully understand that people try to find some way to connect to you and your situation. I am sure on many occasions, I too have said some crazy things to people who are suffering or in crazy situations. Just listen to some of these:

• Wow, I bet that hurt? No, not at all!
• You sure are in a bad predicament! Actually, no, all is good!
• I bet you won't go in the attic again! Well, duh!
• My friend's, brother's, sister's, aunt's, dog fell off a ladder and broke his ankle..... I have heard every story of any person that has hurt their legs in some way.
• Did you get hurt? I guess the wheelchair and moon boots aren't visually enough to prove that I did indeed get hurt!
• Why would you do that? Not sure now!
• Don't you know you should not be in the attic? Yes, I know now!
• Why didn't you floor your attic? I guess I am just lazy! LOL
• So, you can't walk? Hmmmmm? NO!
• What a heel you are! The heel jokes are my favs.
• You sure are lucky? LOL....one side of me says, "Are you kidding?" but then the Godly side of me says, "No, not lucky, blessed!"
• What were you thinking? I was thinking about the cables I was trying to run!

Please don't take me wrong here. I am very thankful that people are trying to connect with my injuries. Many people don't know what to say other than the first thing that comes into their minds. I am thankful that people wish to chat with me and give me their best wishes. But some of the things they say is just hilarious or completely obvious; as if I had not considered the thought at all.

Try This At Home

Ok, here is a way you can connect with my difficulties and get a good laugh at the same time. Now let me set the stage for you:

When I need to use the restroom, I must transfer from the recliner to my wheelchair. Then, I wheel into my bedroom to the entrance of my bathroom. My chair will not go through the door opening, therefore, I must transfer from my wheelchair to a cheap Wal-Mart rolling chair with no back on it. I then push my self into my bathroom and then over to the toilet room. I then transfer (with pants/shorts still on) from the rolling chair to the toilet seat.

Now here is where you come in. Go to your toilet seat, sit down and now without using your feet, unbutton your pants/shorts and pull them down to potty. Now, pull your underwear up. Now laugh! It is just hilarious!

More background info: For me, I can't completely pull my pants/shorts back up. So, I have to transfer back to the rolling chair with pants/shorts hanging; roll over to the sink to wash my hands and then push myself back to my wheelchair. Once I am back in the wheelchair, I pivot my bottom back and forth while pulling up on my pants/shorts. So many times, I have to stop and laugh.

So, you try it and then just laugh. When you live in a wheelchair, you must find crazy ways to complete tasks. You should see me make the bed in the morning! LOL!

Take care and thanks for reading my blog. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers!

Another Awesome Doctor's Report

Sept 9, 2008
Days 28-31

Back On My Feet Countdown: 77 days

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Checkup Time!

I had my 2nd follow-up doctor's appointment this morning. He looked at my left foot and said all is good. They removed the steri tape strips they had placed on the incision. They cleaned the area well and told me that I could now shower with my leg uncovered. This was awesome news!

He then turned to my right foot. He looked at the incision area and was very pleased. His nurse removed the cast and then removed the steri strips and cleaned the area well. There was a small area where the wound was still wet, meaning it needed another 2 weeks to heal. So they applied some betadine wrapped the wound and placed my right foot into a boot. I am not able to put my right foot in the shower as yet, but it is out of the cast!!!!!

I am scheduled to go back in 2 weeks. At that time, if the incision area on my right foot is completely healed, then we can proceed with putting weight on my left foot and start moving my right foot back and forth along my ankle.

Join me in giving thanks to God! He is the Great Physician and He is healing me.

The best phrase from my doctor during this visit was, "Remarkable!" This was his remark to my healing process. God is SO good!

Looking Back & Lessons Learned

Sept 5, 2008
Days 24-27

Back On My Feet Countdown: 80 days

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Four Week Anniversary

Today marks 4 weeks since my accident. Today, I was in our Dinning Room looking up at the ceiling remembering the day, August 9th; praising God that I am still here and the whole in my ceiling has been patched and fixed. It is pretty amazing everything that has transpired over these past 4 weeks. 17 days in the hospital. Major surgery on both heels. Eating some spectacular food in the hospital (yuck, and a BIG NOT)! I am still amazed at God's grace and how He continues to sustain me! I praise God for this accident. I praise God for the difficulties that have come from it. I praise God for the pain I endured. I praise God for the character He is perfecting. I just love Him more and more each day!

I am able to do more and more with my feet and legs everyday. Yesterday, my sis-in-law came to stay with Collier and I. I had the privilege of playing in the floor with my son. I am able to crawl, scoot and roll. I feel like a Collier; a toddler! Collier kept coming up to me, crawling all over me. Even when I had to get back in my recliner to elevate my feet, he would come running; wanting in my lap. You might think, "Well, yes, you are his daddy and of course he would be crawling on you and wanting in your lap!" As a matter of fact, this really has not been the case until today. I had been gone 17 days and he had been going back and forth between many different family and friends....and in the midst of all the confusion, we lost some of the closeness we once shared. He really would not have much to do with me when I got back home. I have been pretty sad over this and have been praying that God would restore our relationship. I can confidently say that as of yesterday, things are much better! God again answered my prayer! Thank you!

People Say Crazy Things

Robbie was off today, so we went to Little Rock to run some errands. It was a great day to do it...sunshine without a cloud in the sky and temps in the lower 80s. Just a beautiful day! Our first stop was Hobby Lobby. This store is like Wal-Mart on a Saturday; wall to wall people. And of course, they have on 2 handicap parking spots and yes, they were full. So, Robbie had to drop me off at the front door and then find a parking spot 10 miles away! I went in to the store and waited for Robbie. It is strange to sit in a wheelchair and wait. People are trying not to stare, but they can't help themselves. It is funny to watch. As we left the store, I went outside and parked my chair on the narrow sidewalk, next to the entrance while Robbie and Collier walked to parking lot Egypt to get the car. I felt like a beggar looking for food and/or money. I bet if I were to have held my hand out, I would have gotten some donations! LOL So, as I sat there, people were having to walk around me as they came and went from the store. One lady said, "Boy, you are in a bad predicament!" Well, dah! On man said, "Wow, that had to hurt!" Well of course it did! There was one person who asked if I needed any help. I told him I was waiting for my wife to bring the car around. His question was legit! :) I will watch what I say to people or just keep my mouth shut! I never want to be a person who says something stupid to someone who apparently is dealing with some kind of difficulty! :)

From Hobby Lobby, we went to Wal-Mart. Again, Wal-Mart on a Saturday....we must like pain! LOL Another thing I have learned about Wal-Mart; lots of disabled people shop there. There is never handicap parking available...and they have lots of slots to choose from! My personal favorite are the people (like me) who have the temporary disability tag you hang from your rear-view mirror; they bail out of their car and NO ONE HAS ANY APPEARANCE OF BEING DISABLED! Where is the limp? Where is the wheelchair? Where are the crutches? Where are the missing limbs? Where is the oxygen tank? Are you kidding me? Here I and anyone else who is truly disabled is in need of a parking place and there they are....got the tag but not one person with a disability! So, we park in the back 40 and wheel ourselves to the front door! You learn many things when you are in the chair....things you never knew or you took for granted.

We are going to Church tomorrow for the first time in 4 weeks. I will let you know how glorious it is!

Time Off With Family Continues--Here Comes Gustav

Sept 1, 2008
Days 22-23

Back On My Feet Countdown: 85 days

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It has been a blast being home with my family these past few days. What great timing for Robbie to be off for 5 days straight. We are learning how to live in a wheelchair. I have been working hard to find ways to help around the house; in an attempt to help Robbie with all of the added duties she picked up when I came home. I have been folding clothes, cooking lunch and dinner (with a little assistance), feeding Collier and I can clean up the kitchen. I am so thankful I can help.

Robbie is a trooper! She does it all with a smile on her face and I am SO thankful for her love, support and all that she does to take care of our family!

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During my rehab and recovery, I have become reacquainted with a song that has now become my song during this trial. The song is, In Christ Alone, by Michael English. I have adopted this song because the lyrics perfectly describe me and my situation. The lyrics point my heart to Christ and they comfort me; they allow me to give praise to God! Here see for yourself--:

In Christ alone will I glory
Though I could pride myself
In battles won
For I've been blessed beyond measure
And by His strength alone, I overcome
Oh, I could stop and count successes
Like diamonds in my hands
But these trophies could not equal
To the grace, by which I stand

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory In the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace
I am redeemed
And only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness
To my need
Now I seek no greater honor
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses
And to the glory of my Lord

In Christ alone
I place my trust
And find my glory In the power of the cross
In every victory
Let it be said of me
My source of strength
My source of hope
Is Christ alone

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Gustav has made its last stand here in Arkansas. The rain began last night and will continue for the next 3 to 4 days. We are expecting as much as 15" of rain in some parts of central Arkansas. Looks like our fall foliage will be spectacular this year. The more rain we get in August, the brighter the colors will be in the Fall. If you have never been to Arkansas in the Fall, you are missing some beautiful colors. I am looking forward to a wonderful Autumn!!

Maybe Too Much Fun?

August 30, 2008
Day 21

Back On My Feet Countdown: 86 days

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I have been home 5 days now and we are beginning to get a routine in place on living in a wheelchair. I have found that you can do pretty much anything you want in a wheelchair. There some limitations and plenty of frustrations. Two notable frustrations:

• First, having to ask for assistance with tasks I have never needed assistance before. For example, I can't reach the plates in our kitchen cabinets or I can get to my huge spice rack in my pantry. So frustrating, yet so surreal....it causes me to think about people who are in wheelchairs forever.
• Second, it takes a long time to get simple things done. Taking a bath, going to the restroom, making dinner....all of these simple tasks (simple for those who can walk) take a lot of time and energy to complete.

Well today, I believe I went a little over-board on activities. This morning, we went for a walk around the block. I knew it would be difficult, but a good work out for my arms. Wow...I was right...very hard and I was dead tired when I got back. But it was so much fun to be out with my family and hearing Collier squeal all around the block....he loves to ride in his car outside...so the squeals were happy ones!

In the afternoon, we made a trip to Wal-Mart. We had a long list of things to get. We left soon after Collier woke up from his afternoon nap....but as we began our Wal-Mart tour, we soon realized that it was Collier's snack time...and boy did he remind us of it. So we went to the baby food isle first....grabbed a bag of whole wheat cookies and opened them up. This is not one of our preferred snacks, but sometimes, you just have to go with the flow. Our Wal-Mart trip took forever....we sat in check-out lane #7 for the longest. Our cashier was being extra slow at a time when we needed her to be a little more efficient. Collier was starting to melt down...time to exit!!!

I just started laughing...here Robbie was with a cart full of stuff, a screaming baby and a disabled husband in a wheelchair. She was just taking it all in stride...not letting it affect her at all. I was doing all kinds of stupid tricks to keep Collier entertained while Ms. SLOW Wal-Mart #7 continued at a snail's pace. All you could do was laugh and pray!

We got home....Robbie unloaded Collier and I. She brought in the supplies and I did my best to put them up. I then started dinner. I made home-made calzones. Yum! Yum!

By the end of the day, I quickly realized that me feet were swollen and I was exhausted. I had engaged in a little too much activity......but let me tell you, it was well worth it....I will take exhaustion from being at home with my family, than another day of sitting in a bed at the hospital.

Needless to say, I had no trouble sleeping last night!!

Full Day With My Family

August 29, 2008
Day 20

What A Wonderful Day!

I had the privilege of spending the day with Robbie and Collier. Actually, this day was the beginning of 5 days of Robbie being home. We spent the morning at home and the afternoon running errands. One of our stops was the DMV (for Arkansans, the Revenue Office) to get a temporary disability tag for our car. I had forgotten it was the end of the month and that the following Monday was a holiday. We walked into a room of people waiting to be served. They were serving customer number 82 and my number was 5. Robbie took Collier out for a spin in the car while I awaited my turn. While sitting there, I saw 2 nurses that cared for me while I was in the hospital. It was good to see them again.

I was able to transfer from my wheelchair to the sofa, then to the floor to play with Collier. What a treat to be on the floor with him.

Later on in the evening, after we put Collier down for night-night, I transferred to the sofa and elevated my feet on the ottoman. Robbie and I ate popcorn and watched some shows we had DVR'd. What a great way to end the day!
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My feet are getting better and better with each passing day. I can move them more and more without pain. It is a great feeling to be able to lie on my side. It is the little things in life we take for granted and then realize how precious they are when they are taken away!

Lessons Learned Today

1. Just because a building has a handicap parking spot does not mean the entrance to the building is easily accessible to wheelchairs. We went to pick up some pictures of Collier from the photographer and yes, his building had a handicap parking spot, but steps up to the front door. Needless to say, I had to stay in the car. Bummer! I bet people with disabilities have to deal with this everyday.
2. 99% of all people will get the door for you when they see you coming in a wheelchair. Most of them will tell you of a time when they were disabled and they were always thankful when others showed them kindness. I will never forget this!

Day 19--First Doctor Appt

August 28, 2008
Day 19

Back on my Feet Countdown: 88 days

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Strengthening Feet--Family Visits--Awesome Friends--Great News!

I am sleeping better and better each night. I believe the reason for this is that my feet are not hurting or as uncomfortable as they have been. I also noticed this morning while doing my physical therapy exercises that I can move my toes and my ankles more and more without any discomfort. This is very exciting!! The swelling is much improved as well!

My dad and mom came in around 1pm today. They are on their way to Branson, MO and decided to come and spend the night with us. It was so good to see them. This is the first time I have seen my dad since my accident. My mother came the day after my accident and spent a week with us. She was so helpful! She took care of Collier and many of the household chores. I wish to take this moment to thank my mom for all of her care, love and help. You are a huge blessing to me and my family. So, my day was great....I spent the morning with my Mom-In-Law and Collier and then spent the afternoon with my Dad, Mom and Collier. It made the day go by fast and it was purely enjoyable!

My first doctor's appointment since leaving the hospital was this afternoon at 4:30pm. Since Robbie was working, my friend Liz volunteered to take me to my appointment. So we loaded up in the car, and took off. I began to tell Liz where we were going. She turned to me and said, I know where I am going! LOL Of course, she has lived here all of her life!

We got to the doctor's office at 4:20 and the waiting room was full. Liz laughed and said, "I bet we don't get out of here by 6!" Sometime around 5:30pm, I was called back. They began by removing the splints I had on. From there, we went to another room to conduct x-rays. The x-rays were completed and they decided to leave me on this very hard table, saying this would be the best place to remove my stitches and to put casts back on.

While lying on the table, Dr. Lorio comes in and hold the x-rays up to the light where he can show me what was going on. I have to admit, this is my first time to see x-rays of my feet after surgery. All I could see was pins and screws. Funny, was there in bone in there at all? Dr. Lorio begins to speak. We start with the left foot. He is very pleased with the healing process so far. And the wounds on that foot are looking good...no infection and no drainage. Then we move to the right foot, the one with the most damage. He gets this huge smile on his face and then then turns to me, smiling, and says; "I could not be any more excited about how this looks! You know as I told you after surgery, I did the best I could do rebuilding this foot. See the bone putty? See where we tried to use pins on the top to repair the damage!" He then pointed to the curvature of the bone and again was smiling....he continue to tell me how happy he was with the healing so far. No infections on the right. The wounds are looking good. There is still a little drainage, yet, all is just awesome. I looked him in the eye and said; "This is the hand of God, this is the hand of God!" He agreed with me! He left the room and all I could do was point to the ceiling and say; "You God, this news is all YOU! Thank you and praise you!"

From there, my big smile when to a squinting face and saying ouch! The stitches were coming out and boy, did they hurt. Big, big, ouch! But, it was temporary and it passed.

I left the office with a boot on the left foot (no cast, just a sock covered foot in a walking boot to keep it in place as it continues to heal) and a cast on the right one. They cut a hole in the cast so that I could clean my wound every day for the next 2 weeks. I go back in 2 weeks for another follow-up appointment. At that time, the wounds on the right will be healed enough for a boot covering as well. I am able to move my left foot back and forth to give my ankle some exercise.

So you see, God really does answer prayer. I am so thankful for this wonderful report and I praise Him and give him all the credit for this awesome news!