My 9 month anniversary is approaching fast. Just amazing that so much time has past. My accident seems like yesterday, and yet, it seems like forever ago!
The healing is SLOW! It seems to be moving at a snail's pace. I must admit there are times when I think there is no healing going on...that I am stuck where I currently am. Then God allows some progress that changes my mind. Each week, the pain is becoming less and less and I am able to walk more normally and for longer periods of time. The continued physical therapy is really making the difference! The more I work these feet the more normal that become. Praise God!
I am working on losing weight. My doctor told me that I MUST lose some significant weight to lessen the arthritis that will come. As of today, I am down 16 pounds with another 70 to go. I have to do this...it is a must if I am ever going to get back to normal.
Thank you so much for your continue prayers. I know you are out there praying and I am so thankful to you for that! God continues to work and it is amazing to watch!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Lesson #20
I am not afraid of where I am going, but afraid to stay!
This phrase comes from a secular song, but it struck me as true when I heard it soon after my accident. I have no idea where the path that God as set before me will take me. I know there are going to be many more experiences with Him. All of them wonderful because "everything works together for the good of them who are called according to His purposes", but some not without tears and sorrow. I am not afraid of the path or of what's to come. I am afraid of staying where I am right now; not moving, not advancing, not experiencing God any further than I already have. I can't stay here. I have to keep moving. I can't dwell on the past, I have to keep marching forward.
Friends with Wisdom
I have a friend who has dealt with tragedy in his life. For a short time, he was unable to walk and pretty much had to re-learn to walk. Along my journey of crushed heels, he has been an encouragement. Even now, he sends emails that a choked full of wisdom. For this, I am very grateful.
I wanted to share some of his wisdom.
When you have the privilege of experiencing a mountain top experience with God, you quickly want and desire to hold on to the experience as long as you can. You want nothing more than to keep the closeness of God and all of your Godly friends. But then, life begins to shift back and before you know it, you become discouraged and lonely. It is then when you must get your focus off of yourself and keep it on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
It is not about whether people are praying or if they know that I am completely healed or not. It is NOT about ME! It is about using the experiences that God allows us to have for HIS glory and HIS honor. It is about impacting others and encouraging others by talking about how great our God is!
I continue to look forward to the things God has in store for me and my family. I very much look forward to any and all things that I can do to share my experiences with others so that God may be uplifted!
I wanted to share some of his wisdom.
When you have the privilege of experiencing a mountain top experience with God, you quickly want and desire to hold on to the experience as long as you can. You want nothing more than to keep the closeness of God and all of your Godly friends. But then, life begins to shift back and before you know it, you become discouraged and lonely. It is then when you must get your focus off of yourself and keep it on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.
It is not about whether people are praying or if they know that I am completely healed or not. It is NOT about ME! It is about using the experiences that God allows us to have for HIS glory and HIS honor. It is about impacting others and encouraging others by talking about how great our God is!
I continue to look forward to the things God has in store for me and my family. I very much look forward to any and all things that I can do to share my experiences with others so that God may be uplifted!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Lesson #18 &19
What you don't use, you lose!
When you don't a muscle, it shrinks! My leg muscles are shrunk to half their normal size. And it took no time for it to happen. Wow! This has to be true in all other areas of life. To keep things razor sharp, they have to be used, trained and improved!
Do everything you can to remember!
History has a way of repeating itself. Look at the economy today. It resembles the Great Depression. How did we get here again? There are many theories and ideas. It is human nature to go from organized to complete disarray. One day we have it together and then we lose site of our ultimate goal and then we fall off the wagon. Mark my words, years from now, we will be in this same kind of economic problem again. It will happen!
The only way to learn from the storms of life is to do all you can to remember what happened and what you learned along the way. I have kept this journal to document all of my thoughts and feelings as life progresses out from Aug 9, 2008. The only way for me to look back and see what God has done is to keep track of it. So, if you don't want to repeat mistakes or if you want to grow in character, then you have to be able to remember things.....so when the storms hit, do all that you can to remember where you are, where you are going and where you have come. As I look back over this blog, I am reminded of all the great things I have conquered through the power of Jesus Christ!
A Lot To Catch Up On!
7 Month Anniversary
I am completely amazed that today is my 7 month anniversary of my accident. In a very small way, it seems like yesterday, but for the most part, it seems like years ago. So much has happened over the past 7 months that much of it is a complete blur, yet the weekly physical therapy and the daily pain remind me of what my surgeon continues to tell me; recovery will be slow and painful! So daily, I am reminded of God's grace and the fact that I am still disabled and will be for many more months ahead.
My 6 month mark came and went without any notice. I am cool with that, but many times I wonder if people still pray for me. I am sure today will come and go just like the day did a month ago. I fully understand that it is human nature to move on. Time keeps marching, life continues on and the dust settles. Unfortunately, for many, needs are still great even if the dust has settled. I am reminded of this daily. If I only take one thing away from this experience (you can bet it will be more than 1 thing!), it is this...when I choose to walk with people through their storm, I will walk all the way, from start to finish. This is SO important....oh, SO important. Already, God has given Robbie and I opportunities to walk with our dearest of friends as they are in the middle of storms. To them, I pledge to be there from beginning to end. No matter what is cost me personally in time and money...I will be there when we walk out of the storm no matter the out-come!
Continue to pray for me. Healing is still in progress and I still have to devote a large portion of my day staying off my feet. In due time, God will heal me, completely, and this will not be the case. I love all of you and thank you in advance for your support and prayers!
Back To Work! STOP! Not So Fast There Cowboy!
Well, I thought I was ready to go back to work part time. I made the big announcement and reactivated some of my clients who were eagerly awaiting my return. I notified my disability insurance provided of this and they told me no more benefits! WAIT! HOLD ON! You mean it is all or nothing? Yep! You are either totally disabled or you are totally healed and back work! What a load of crap! They have been doing all they can to get me off disability and yet when I strive to slowly come off, they dump me. It is a crazy system. But I learned something and that is not to volunteer information. You can moral and honest and yet not give away your hand. I give to much away when it comes to information. Not again!
So, what am I doing? I am completely disabled, that is what I am doing. I had to get my surgeon to write a letter saying that he considers me completely disabled until he releases me. Not sure when that is going to be. But in the mean time, with a little bit of a fight, faith in God to fix this and a hope that knew He would, my benefits have been restored and I am focused on healing only. CRAZY!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Lesson #17
Not everyone will completely understand what you are going through and you should not expect them to.
Actually, this is true for anyone who has experienced life struggles. Unless someone has walked in your shoes, they can't fully understand what you are going through. Yet, they will try in many different ways to understand or to connect with you.
People like to tell me stories of friends, family, themselves and even their pets that have succumb to some kind of accident involving some kind of broken bones in their ankles or feet. Yes, their pets! That one was my favorites. I am not sure how that relates to me, but this person felt they needed to tell me.
The lesson here is that people wish to connect to your difficulty is some way. In many cases, they have not experienced what you have experience. Yet, we should be thankful and patient, knowing that people are expressing their good will and love!
Another lesson here is that we all should be very wise and careful with our words when we are speaking with people who are in the middle of a trial. We all think we have to say something, just one little thing that will let the person know we are thinking of them or that we are very concerned about their situation, yet many times, our words are just not very helpful. I have to admit that many times, things people have said to me have made me feel much worse. And then I am reminded by the Holy Spirit to be patient and kind and to give people the benefit of the doubt!
Back To Work!!
5 Months, 15 Days
I had another 6-week check up with my orthopedic surgeon on Thursday. He cleared me for going back to work part-time! This is so cool. In less than 6 months, I am able to start back to work! So I have contacted 2 of my monthly clients and asked them if I can start their service back up in February! Within minutes, I got a hearty YES from one of them. I am excited!
Continue to pray for me! The struggle is not over yet. Here are some specifics I need prayer for:
I had another 6-week check up with my orthopedic surgeon on Thursday. He cleared me for going back to work part-time! This is so cool. In less than 6 months, I am able to start back to work! So I have contacted 2 of my monthly clients and asked them if I can start their service back up in February! Within minutes, I got a hearty YES from one of them. I am excited!
Continue to pray for me! The struggle is not over yet. Here are some specifics I need prayer for:
- I need to lose 60 lbs.
- My feet still hurt everyday. Pray that healing will continue and the pain will subside.
- Continue to work towards full use of both feet.
- Stop arthritis from setting in.
- Pray for complete restoration.
My next check-up is at my 1 year anniversary of my accident (week of Aug 9th). He will take another x-ray and if all looks good, he will release me completely.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Lesson #16
Prov 20:30—Sometimes it takes painful experiences to make us change our ways
God allows trials in our lives for a reason. It is to teach us, to grow us, to bring us closer to Him! This verse in Proverbs teaches me that my best teaching environment is when there is a struggle. YES, I hate to struggle. NO, I never wish to fall through a ceiling again. BUT, I have learned to mighty great things that I would have never gotten through my thick head had it not been for my accident. You see, for us to learn something, or for that matter, to get us to change our ways, something has to get our attention. Sometimes, getting our attention is simple and easy, but many times, it takes some pain, even very bad pain to get our attention. I wish this were not true, but it is a reality.
Therefore, I am very thankful that God decided to spare my life, take the time to teach me some great things. Despite my stubbornness and wickedness, He still choose to work with me. What a marvelous gift and privilege!
Lesson #15
Your Family Is Going Through A Trial By Fire Too!
I am not sure why I have this lesson as a separate one. Lesson #14 covered this, but I guess I wanted to remind myself that yes, my family is suffering right along with me, but I am not the only one that God is working with here. My family is in the trial by fire right along with me and there are lessons for them to learn as well. They may not be the same as mine, but they too are learning and growing in the Lord!
I am not sure why I have this lesson as a separate one. Lesson #14 covered this, but I guess I wanted to remind myself that yes, my family is suffering right along with me, but I am not the only one that God is working with here. My family is in the trial by fire right along with me and there are lessons for them to learn as well. They may not be the same as mine, but they too are learning and growing in the Lord!
5 Month Anniversary
5 Months, 7 Days
I let my 5 month anniversary go by without a post. The day was significant, believe me, 5 months since my accident and it feels like years. Honestly, I just forgot to post. Life has kicked back in and I am so happy to be a part of it again. Of course, the reality is that I have been doing too much and not spending enough time OFF my feet. I was so happy and excited to get back on my feet, that I forgot that I am not even half way through my expected 1 year recovery. The recovery, thanks to God, has been going so much better than expected that I just leap to my feet and started moving!
I am in my 2nd set of 6-week physical therapy sessions. I go 3 days per week. I am spending one day a week in what they call a gym (non-water therapy) and 2 days per week in the pool continuing my water therapy. I am completely out of my wheel chair and I rely on my crutches most of the time.
I am not sure when I will be able to go back to work. Walking and standing for long periods of time is still impossible. And that is something I must be able to do when I get back to personal cheffing.
I must tell you that I crossed what seems to be another threshold recently. I have noticed that the swelling in my feet is not as significant...even at the end of the day when I have been on them a lot. And the pain is not as strong. And good indicator of this is when I get up in the morning. Oh may, that is the worst pain of the day...getting my feet to start working after being in bed for 8 hours. PAIN!! But even that is not a bad as it has been. It was like one day I got up and things were 25% better in one bang. It is exciting!
My next doc appt is next week. It will be good to see what he has to say!!
Take care and thanks for keeping up with me!
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